Words

Tonight I used too many words that made too little sense while sitting on a river bank beneath galaxies made visible by dark. Nature’s beauty abided in voiceless authority.

We both like intellectual paths. And so monologues became our feet. She led and I followed, then we changed positions and ventured places we often only go alone.

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There's God

When I fathom the incomprehensible, there’s God. 

When I hear the inaudible, there’s God. 

When I feel the inexplicable, there’s God. 

God’s everything I am and everything I’m not. 

Why are we straining to prove divinity’s existence? 

Is it not because we’ve lost the divine within ourselves?

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Coffee, Then Thinking

Let’s establish something right now and real quick:

Don’t share your thoughts until coffee’s dripped.

And don’t expect small talk before coffee’s sipped.

I’m a slow riser and mean to keep it that way.

I don’t like thinking when I’m not awake.

Have a great idea?

I’m sure it can wait.

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A Day En Transit

We woke up at a 16th century colonial mansion turned backpacker’s inn.

We snuck out quietly as to not wake our sleeping compadres in the bunks around us.

Before 5am the carretera was quieter than we’d ever seen it, minimizing the need to swerve between rickshaws and cattle drives.

The cabbie didn’t have change for our US dollars, so he got a little extra tip.

Perhaps it was a commonly implemented strategy to best departing gringos.

Whatever the case, he left content.

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Theotokos

I wasn’t raised to kiss or venerate icons.

My spiritual leaders told me it was an archaic form of idolatry.

So I sought the attributes of divinity in nature, human faces and modern melodies.

I smelled fragrance of God on all of them.

But then I sought refuge with a brotherhood of monks.

They embraced me like the prodigal.

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Thomas Merton, my soul brother

Thomas Merton already lived out my struggle.

He’s a soul brother who penned thought and emotion more honestly than I allow myself to think. 

His writing looks into a soul being magnetized to God, as the foundations of logic and intellect are stripped away. 

Brother Tom, my accomplished and holy friend, you’ve told me how you went about becoming set apart. 

You’ve been vulnerable in your sharing. 

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Coffee & Desire

I’ve heard coffee compared to fine wine 
And wine compared to sweet chocolate
And chocolate lauded as better than sex
And sex described as a suspended moment of ecstasy
And ecstasy explained as connection with divine
And I’ve seen a face flush with desire 

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I Might Yet Belong

I want to belong.

I don’t know how to do it.

I keep seeking to be the stranger in the room.

Right now, I’m in a corner of the airport looking out at the planes landing on puddles. I’m about to join a flight, too.

There will be failures on board; and hope; and longing; and worries; and pain. In a matter of moments, we’ll all be heading the same direction, but for some two hundred different reasons.

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Inconvenience

It’s inconvenient to love, but hate pollutes the heart.
It’s inconvenient to give, but hoarding is cumbersome.
It’s inconvenient to forgive, but bitterness is toxic.
It’s inconvenient to hope, but despair is blinding.
It’s inconvenient to help, but selfishness is lonely.

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Privileged to suffer

Those who’ve wrestled with doubt and despair; defeat and self-destruction; these are the ones who will turn the world on its head. These are the ones who’ve been privileged, through suffering, to recognize the features of a limitless landscape.

Perhaps world-changers and revolutionaries are simply those who’ve spent enough time with their longings that they can’t sit idly with them anymore. Anyone with a relentless hope in their heart is poised to change the world for good.

The dysfunctional nature of our world can be easily measured, if its metrics are based on the intensity with which we long to be true. And I only know of one cure for the longing:

Being true to who you are.